Today was one of those days where I've been having moments of feelings of se-realness. You know when it suddenly dawns on you that you're in a place in a particular situation and you don't know how you got there? You had been planning for this moment for some time and even though the plans had followed through, the emotions and reality of the whole situation just didn't seem real until a particular moment.
This sounds funny after being here for a couple of months, but I think I finally have realised I'm in England! And yes, it's fantastic I know, but I actually felt and still feel extremely lonely... something that I have not experienced in such a harsh way for so long a time. I mean, I had been feeling more lonely over the last month with getting settled in, not having any real friends here yet, Rick off to work everyday and me not working (my training for my new job was posponed until next week due to an emergency situation with a Doctor who was training me and a baby who was just brought into the unit - more about my new job later). However today for some reason it just hit me like a wall! I truly haven't feet this "abandoned" since I can't remember - years ago when I was still single I think, maybe.
Its kind of a sobering feeling, exciting and sad all at the same time. People say being alone can be a healthy thing sometimes, and yes I believe that in the right situation that can be true, but at the moment, I just feel like that notion is pure bull-shit. I know I'll plough through all of this and I'm still enjoying the exhilaration af being sort of free in a new country to explore and see all these amazing things, but right now at this moment, I would kill for a close friend or a sister to sit and talk with me over a cup of tea, to be in my presence and not in the Skype, digital sense. When you travel, you truly realise that the people who matter just can't be replaced. And sometimes, nothing cuts then to be with them.
Thanks for your honesty, Lana. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. You are missed, friend!
Hey Margaret! Thanks. No worries, I am totally fine, just had a moment of super loneliness was all. Part of the whole "travelling experience," I guess. Its good to feel missed though.
Awww, babyyyy!! You are SO missed, here! This seems to me like a totally natural thing for you especially to feel. Even if Rick were not working so much I still think it would be hard for you both, because you have so many different friend groups and such large families on both sides. If there were only a few of us to miss, maybe it would be easier, right!? I have always been a jealous that you and Rick have been blessed with having so many really wonderful friends, so I can understand where you're coming from :) Glad you're feeling better, though! Some nights you just get lonely, y'know? Human condition and all. Here's some advice from the great Penny Lane...
"...if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store, and visit your friends."
Thanks Jess! You always impress me with your words, you know that? I really like that quote too! Its true enough for Rick, its really true for me though - with clothing anyways! haha. Sometimes I think we have to be lonely so we can appreciate the times when we are not. That's a new thought I just had.
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